What women may not know about men

At the root of a man's psychological structure is the desire to be competent and the fear that he is not. In essence he is always trying to find opportunities to prove himself, usually through achievement and power. In addition, he is ever alert to the slightest hint of criticism from his partner, which might mean that he isn't "good enough" in her eyes. He can be ultra sensitive to the possibility that his loved one might think he is less than wonderful, or that she might think him responsible for something bad.

 In the context of a relationship, the ultimate way that a man knows

that he is good enough is when he recognizes that

his partner (you) are truly happy with him.

It doesn't matter what you say or do -- it matters what you feel.

A woman's grace creates this understanding. Its your grace, your forgiveness and your affection that he seeks. If a man senses that you are unhappy, or that you disapprove of him, he feels so depressed that he would rather not live.

Speak positively about him in front of others, especially with your family, friends, and co-workers. You should never bash him or put him down in front of these people. Doing so will show a total lack of respect for him and diminish his trust and intimacy for you. You may also create a "mob mentality"--which is to say, you may create a support system that only supports you leaving him. If there is a problem, and you legitimately need to talk to someone about him, please do so. But do not constantly complain about him to these or other people.
 
Understanding what a man is, is very important to understanding what a man needs. Knowing this, the woman who let's her mate know that he is appreciated has fulfilled a natural confirmation of his unconscious need to be appreciated, and the bond between the two is strengthened.

Men need more validation from women than women need of men. Never take a mans good deed for granted. If he buys you a gift or takes you out to dinner without your asking, understand that he has put a lot of thought into this. If your reaction is anything other than complete gratitude, or worse, if you complain or question his choice, he will feel crushed and unloved. Even if the sweater he bought is a hideous green and too big, or if you are not in the mood for chicken wings and beer, you will make him feel loved, cherished, and closer to you than ever if you simply show your gratitude.

Men need your reassurance of commitment. Men understand unconsciously that their position with their woman is dependent on performance. This is not necessarily a truth just a throw back to our tribal days, where a man could be replaced by another simply. This genetic insecurity is often a cause of doubt and pain within men when they feel that their performance has not been "good enough" to warrant their place. The woman who reassure's her mate will find that the bond between them will grow much stronger as a result of the need of her man to be reassured. With the exception of physical violence, abuse, infidelity, or drug abuse, the worst thing a women can do is leave a man when he makes a mistake. Compliance through threats of leaving, or actually leaving will severely damage his trust for you and cripple any closeness you share, possibly irreparably. If he has hurt your feelings, take a timeout then share your hurt with him. One of the biggest fears a man has is abandonment. In fact, a surefire way to kill a relationship is to keep one foot out the door. A commitment is just that, a promise to help each other through the best and worst of times, no matter what. Women who hold grudges, seek vengeance, cling to bitterness and are unwilling to forgive, unwittingly break their own hearts.

Men need Recognition. Accepting men as they are is crucial to any relationship, and especially for women who expect to be accepted as they are. It is a common paradox that many women attempt to "fix" or "change" their mate, while not being willing to change themselves. Accepting your man with all his foibles is crucial to a long lasting relationship, understanding a man's needs and desires, sexual and emotional, are beyond important to maintaining a strong relationship. Be up front and honest about what you are and what you need, and encourage the same in your mate, accepting what they are and what their needs are.