Coercion And The Last Stand: Custer And Sitting Bull Inapplicable

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the Blogger..

So, In the spirit of the upcoming All Hollows' Eve, I have a bit of a trick and a treat for you (well, treat for some, that is). As I had promised; I was finished blogging. My intent and hope was to draw your attention to the distance that had slowly, and by degrees, crept up between you and the one you love(d); remind you of the time in the not so distant past when you literally and unquestionably would have stepped in front of a bullet for him/her; maybe, just maybe rattle around enough nostalgic embers to start a fire; and finally, impart to you enough stepping off stone ideas in order for you to find your way back to the path you both once felt so fulfilled on. 

Well, so again, that's what I was aiming for, and apparently, it struck a chord with a handful of you who asked if I had any more info or tips on the subject. First, I want to make it abundantly clear that the information I've gained is from undergraduate psych/sociology courses, personal experiences, listening to friends/co-workers/couples, along with a lot of personal fact finding research. I DO NOT hold any degrees or certificates, nor am I "qualified" by any means to teach or instruct anyone anything about successful relationships (as most of my ex girlfriends will enthusiastically attest!!). I'm no expert or guru, nor am I anything remotely approaching perfect..and what's more, I'm currently single. Even still, I wanted to share my personal thoughts and opinions based on the knowledge I've gained through the aforementioned ways, missed opportunities, mistakes, and sometimes downright calamities, in the hope that it may be of some use to someone. Essentially, I'm telling you you have absolutely ZERO recourse for legal action against me if you try something from my blog that gets you a weekend exiled to your back porch, murmuring a constant stream of muffled I'm sorry's directed up at your bedroom window. With that said, for those of you who asked, I will do one more segment of--let me say this one last time--my OPINIONS! Okay then, let's get started..

One person who read my previous posts, sent me an email which said my blog was a real wake up call to her. This person went on to say that one of the things it did was to make her realize she had gotten lazy and she'd lost her passion. She told me she hadn't just lost her passion with her husband, but really, for everything. Sorry M, but to me this sounded ludicrous because you're nowhere near dead yet and really all it seems you need is that spark to reignite the fire and start doing what it takes to reinvigorate yourself and your husband. Someone else asked me, "Doesn't passion naturally fade away the longer you're together?"..that seemed so foreign a concept because to me, nothing could be further from the truth.

I have this deeply held belief that says passion, love, intimacy and YES, even great sex doesn't ever have to fade away. I believe that whether we have passion or not in our relationships/life is a choice we make in every moment (thanks, Inge, for reminding me of that!). To me, the question you need to continually be asking yourself is what are you doing in every moment of your relationship and life.. is it bringing you closer to, or further from what you want? For many people, they've lost their fire, their drive and they're just going through the motions in their life. To me, this is like dying while you're still alive. I'm not interested in that, nor do I have the time for wastefulness and negativity (I'm gettin' too old for that crap). Honestly, I say give me passion, a zest for life, an incredible woman, some really good music, food and the occasional vacation chucked in there for good measure..to me, that's happiness! 

In the upcoming post, we'll get down and dirty as to some of my thoughts on how to transition from here to there. From simply going through the motions to reigniting the passion in yourself..and how making that change in yourself positively effects and attracts your significant other. 

Talk to you soon..