Unfamiliar Territory, Knee Jerks and One Thing

NOTE: Apparently it is customary for blog authors to change the names of the innocent, or in this case the not so innocent, to protect their anonymity. I mention this because "Ted" would probably feel like an even bigger schmuck if his peers and the wider world knew his true identity and as such, for the remainder of this entry, "Ted" it is.

So, from the outset, I will tell you that I've known this guy Ted for a while now and all in all he seems to be a decent, responsible, level-headed guy who as a kid probably never stomped on any anthills or microwaved any cats. In short, I would feel comfortable leaving my kids in his care, that is, if I had kids. Like me, Ted is a bachelor by choice, but he isn't indifferent to finding someone he's compatible with. Ted is usually a cool cucumber when it comes to dating and is hard to read either way on the subject. Personally I think that's just because there's been little for him to be excited about. However, it seems Ted met someone, or was in the process of meeting someone, for whom he was audibly geeked and excited about getting to know. Fast forward to today...

Yeah, Ted's not so geeked anymore. Although the conversation I had with Ted was scattered and difficult to understand, I did manage to gather that he had made a date with someone and was obviously looking forward to it, but on the evening of his date he managed to fall asleep while waiting for the time to pass until he had to get ready and effectively slept right through it. He said he woke in a "you have got to be shi***** me!" panic and immediately contacted his date to apologize (I'm guessing more like begged for mercy!) and tried to convey to her how horrible he felt as this was completely out of character for him. I'm proud of Ted for telling her the truth because it would have been very easy to tell her his mom just drove off a cliff or he fell down a drainage shaft or something. I mean, who wants to hear that the reason you got stood-up was because they fell asleep on you?!

Again, Ted's a decent guy so I feel for him and I hope he can sort things out with said girl. Whether he does or doesn't is another story, but the fact that he found himself in unfamiliar territory got me thinking what would I do if I were in his shoes, or for that matter, her shoes even. I'm sure I'd probably do some heavy grovelling too if I were him, but the flip side is not so easy to reconnoiter. What would I do? I guess my knee-jerk answer would be to put them in the past and move on. Of course, it's no secret that I'm a softy, so if a no-show was immediately followed up by a sincere, genuine apology and a strong desire to provide restitution, I'm fairly certain I'd fold like a lawn chair. Besides, I believe a person gains more, becomes more through absolution than they do through condemnation.

I guess, with a birthday looming, I'm officially getting old and I thought that was a bad thing. However, more and more I'm finding that age and wisdom far outweigh the exuberance and agility of youth. In fact, I think I'm going to like it here in middle age. So Ted, God bless your heart, thank you for your screw-up because it provided me with a window into my ever evolving self and a chance to add humility and absolution to my personal repertoire.

Side Note: (but relevant) I have music playing in the background and despite the fact that I do not believe anyone really knows what the hell Finger Eleven is talking about in their song, "One Thing", maybe it was deliberately vague, not unlike some forms of art, so that you can imply your own adjective or situation and gain an ah-ha from it. Or, conversely, maybe the band just got incredibly stoned and wrote down a bunch of nonsense and idiots like me give them Buddha-like credit for nothing. Either way, thanks to Ted and his train wreck and the ensuing introspection, I do believe the song is more poignant than ever and has duly been added below for Ted and his date. You kids enjoy...